My Three Wishes

Like so many people out there, I feel overwhelmed. I’m so sorry about the state of affairs in our big, baggy, but ultimately still lovable old country right now. In my marrow I know that we are so much better than all this ugliness. I get that some people are just more comfortable staying out of the fray – that’s how they keep their wits about them. I am not one of those people, as you might have surmised by now. As the middle child of a large, festering family, I learned very early in life to assert myself against the cacophony, lest I miss out on dessert. So don’t expect me to stop screaming any time soon. I believe that those of you who aren’t screaming are lucky that you don’t feel you have to.

In the last 14 days I’ve been physically dragged down by yet another kidney stone meandering, and then sashaying, through my innards. This is stone No. 16 in 30 years for me. It’s also broken my previous record of five days for passing. My doctor says it could be a month before it decides to emerge. I am only able to concentrate long enough to write this post because the extreme pain of the first days of this stone has now morphed into only intermittent stabs at my gut, allowing me moments of calm and lucidity.

Here’s what I wish, in the order of personal, self-focused desirability: 1 – my stone gets the fk out of my body and though bruised, I begin to physically stabilize. If you’ve ever had a kidney stone, you know that they absorb everything in your life until they’re gone – so you can’t work, you can’t create, you can’t laugh, you can’t even imagine what being pain-free feels like; 2 – a tested, reliable vaccine for C-19 is released and made available for all of us who think it’s the surest way to stay alive through this pandemic and get back to lives approaching normal; 3 – the debilitating bloat of hatred and fear of The Other that our country and the outside world have been carrying for centuries (and that has only intensified in recent years) begins to fully pass through and out – and stays out, for good.

I can’t wait for that feeling – the renewed optimism, return to lucidity, and freedom to just be – that my three wishes will bring once they each come to pass. And I have to believe that they will (especially that damned stone).

Right now, we all need to heal. We’ll be bruised, for sure, but no longer debilitated and demoralized.

C’est tout!

M

Image: Sweet Moby in less chaotic times. Photo by Kobi Gwinn.

10 Comments Add yours

  1. Rich Pittam says:

    I’m sorry about your stone. Are you taking Flowmax? Have you tried Bella Donna?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m now on flomax – haven’t tried bella donna. I’m also taking potassium citrate.

      Like

  2. margaret barry says:

    beautifully written Morris. Your writing just gets better and better!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Midgettina!

      Like

  3. Katherine Cobb says:

    I hope your stone passes with godspeed—and it will happen soon, I’m sure. But those other two wishes…YES, and they can’t come fast enough.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. edward byrne says:

    I had two bad experiences with kidney stones (as though there could be any good one!) but no more. My doctor said to take 2 cranberry extract pills per day, or drink a pint of cranberry juice per day. That was 20 years ago, and I have never had a kidney stone since I took his advice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll be doing that! Thanks!

      Like

  5. gingerkellergannaway says:

    I hope that kidney stone leaves you before the stone that’s been pulling our country into the depths of hate and intolerance gets the hell of of here! You (and all of your big, baggy country) need some relief!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. pooskie! Yes! I hope you are right – we all need this hideous stone GONE!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.