World Collapsing? Assemble (no actual baking skills required) a Pear Cobbler!

Okay – so the grocery store shelves are skimpy or even empty, and now you’re gonna have to make do with things you (should already) have in your pantry. This is how we survive a plague (of virus, ignorance, overreaction, government ineptitude, and/or bad manners). The photo below shows the only things you’ll need to make a pretty decent knockoff of a proper cobbler.

All you need to make a passable cobbler when the grocery stores are overrun and you need comforting (or simply to satisfy the gluttony you have year-round – your call) : A medium-sized baking pan, a stick of butter, a box of yellow cake mix (seriously – when cake mix is on sale for a dollar, you buy that sh*t for a rainy, or in this case, plague-y day); a big can of pears (or peaches, if you’re stuck on tradition); and some dried cranberries (or raisins or just leave this out altogether – I won’t judge).

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.

Cut the butter into 1/2-inch-squares and place evenly over the bottom of the pan.

Empty the big can of pears and juice right into the pan over the butter squares. With kitchen scissors or a small knife, cut up the pears into 1-inch pieces and distribute evenly.

Add one cup of the dried cranberries or raisins interspersed with the pear pieces.

Sprinkle the yellow cake mix over the top of all that and, using a fork, poke holes and spread the dry mix evenly. The heat will cause the pear juice to bubble up and make the toping crunchy in some parts, chewy in others, and cake-y in others – all good.

Bake at 375 for 30 minutes. Remove pan from oven and, using that fork again, rough up the dry cake mix a bit to even out any lumps and allow the whole thing to brown evenly. Don’t try to fully mix the dry mix with the wet ingredients – you want some of the powdery mix to remain unblended.

Return to the oven for 15 minutes.


This assemble-only pear cobbler can be topped with spray-on whipped cream (or real, if you wanna be fancy with this very un-fancy cobbler) or a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

C’est tout!


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